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| Wow, Xanga....
I haven't wrote in here for 2 years. It feels so weird to be back. But i really did miss it. There is something in writing that releases the soul and opens up the mind. Ha, i don't even know that anything written here is going to be read, i don't know anyone that still uses xanga. Did you see that home page? dang their getting classy. Ok ok sorry i'm just having fun.
Well... here we go. My life has been filled with everything lately. Spending 5 months in California, getting to know the family. Coming back and remembering what i had left, it was great to be back. But even through all this journey and all these physical trips, i still havn't come closer to digging into God. Its funny, all i really need to do is devote 15 minutes a day to reading and thinking about what shes doing in my life. But i get so distracted! Now i know thats a weak excuse, believe me, i know i have time in my Oh so big schedule. But what is it that keeps us from just starting the journey that is more beneficial, difficult, and eye opening then any others? I know what keeps me. Computer, laziness, T.V, the world... While i was in California i came to recognize that moving is over romanticized. That in the end your dealing with the same issues just in a different setting, not saying the different setting wont help. What i learned is that you learn so much in the journey. That the destination and the beginning help you start then recognize what you just learned, but their not the things that make us think. That in true experience, its the journey inbetween the start and the finish that builds you, molds you, and helps you discover who you are. I just feel stagnate at the moment, and that is were the problem lies, stopping. Its so hard for me to start something big. Be it a project, summer reading, or a journey. But once i have started i'm all into it, i want to put my all into it and finish it so i can relax in the fruits of my labor. So whats the problem? why am i babbling? The problem is that we need to have a joyful heart when we start a journey. That we need not stop to long to bask in are fruits or they will become are captives for the next journey. That we should never get comfortable with the person we are, but always strive to be the person that God wants us to be. Now i know thats big and that were supposed to love our bodies and be proud, but that doesn't mean we need to stop growing in them. We need to stretch our boundaries, step over the line and become uncomfortable and grow in God's way. To stop and get comfortable is to say to God that your perfect. That you have nothing to change, and nothing to gain from experiencing new things. So stand up. Start to leave the distractions behind, get up and learn what new journey is in front of you. Once you have done that take it with a joyful heart, because you know that this journey and all that are to come will let you experience everything that God is, and everything that you can be.
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| Sorry guys im losing the feel for this xanga. Im just not seeing the purpose anymore. I only got it to voice my oppinions and i just dont see the point anymore not alot of people are on. I know this might sound sort of go with the crowd but i need a crowd. I will keep it runnign just not Top priortie. Sorry. But maybe ill see the point agan or someone might show me.
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Well guys Cali
was amazing. I really do love it there. My family is so amazing I just love
spending time with them. Being there is like a world away form me. I guess its
just amazing being able to spend time with people you love and want to be with.
My grandpa is the coolest even though he won’t admit it. And Kayla and Nicole
are the best cousins ever and are probably what I like best of the vacation.
Well you might be wondering why I keep saying Amazing and why the title is
Amazing and all that other junk that is going in your head right now. So over
the past 2 months I have really been amazed at God's "Big Plan" our
what ever you call it. I was amazed at what’s really there and what’s not. I
was really shocked about what was going wrong and how I had to change that. Now
know this none of this happened in one night and im still not changed. But I believe
that even trying to change is a big step. I think that’s one of the hardest
things is to say no and turn around or say yes and turn around. So as I looked
around and at myself I saw myself in a new light. I saw myself in Gods light. I
saw what, were really the standards. And I know your think oo man Gods
standards. Pshh they are way too tough for me why should I even try when I know
I will fail. But that’s wrong. You shouldn’t be ashamed by Gods standards. You
should be happy you should be shouting and jumping for Joy that God gave you
time to change and actually realized yourself. Don’t be ashamed then run away from
him thinking you’re not good enough. Be relived that he wants you to be closer
to him.
So when I saw myself in Gods standards I was shocked, I couldn’t believe what
all was going on that I thought was alright. I mean we all know that what we
are doing isn’t exactly Glorifying God but we do it anyway. We think that maybe
it doesn’t count or it doesn’t affect us but deep down we know that we walk a
little away from God each time. Well that’s what I saw. I know im not a
criminal but I mean I still got things that aren’t right and I got a number of
them. Just like you probably do. And it might seem overwhelming but its not. It
should never be over whelming because you should know that God is helping you
all the way through.
So I decide to change and know this I didn’t miraculously just jump out of bed
and start changing. I prayed about it and actually looked at the situation and
saw myself and look form a third person view. So I saw what had to be change
and I made the decision to change and that started it. It didn’t finish it oo
no it surely didn’t but I did help me start. I help me actually turn around.
And all of this started when I started looking at Christians. Now I know a lot
of you are going to say you can’t say anything because you’re as bad as us. And
that you aren’t holy and walking on water so why should we listen to you. But I
am a Christian and I know what its like to be where you guys are and I live
where you guys are each and every day. Im sure not holy and I can’t walk on
water even though I keep trying. But what im saying is that we both temptation
and do wrong and all this other junk but no one addresses it. We all know its
there we just refuse to acknowledge it. And when someone does acknowledge
it we all freak out and call them names and say they are no better and are the
same as them. But deep down we know there right and even if we think its criticism
there is always truth in criticism.
The problem with Christians today is that you can’t tell if they are Christian
or if there not. And that’s so stupid. I mean it is no other word I can’t think
of its just stupid I mean why don’t we act different? Why don’t we want to
change? Why don’t we change? Why do we do the things we do? Why? I mean we have
eternal grace, love, wisdom; kindness, hope, And I said it already but Love. We
have LOVE that’s unstoppable, unmatched, and ongoing. And yet we don’t do
anything with these things. We just sit in the crowed hoping that no one
attacks are life style or try’s to be actual Christian because that would mean
we would have to change. We just want to be able to say on Sundays that where
saved but in school say that we are one of the gang. Its so stupid and we a lot
of us do it. And I say us by including me. Because God knows that I do it. And I
know how stupid it is and what a fool I am but yet I still sit in the crowd not
willing to stand up. Not willing to show what our God has giving us. Because we
don’t want to be DIFFRENT. That’s the problem that a lot of Christians are no Different
from Non Believers. NO DIFFRENT. And yet when I say this all of you hate me and
think im just as bad as you and shouldn’t say anything. But know this that even
though im not the perfect person and I don’t always stand up when Christians
should stand up. I understand what I fool I have been. And I understand what a
fool I am now for writing this. But Love, Hope, Happiness, Kindness, and Grace
make you do foolish things.
So I ask you this and plz be serious. What do you look like compared to Gods
light?
What’s holding you back? Why won’t you stand up? And why do some of you think
that this Entry is going to be History and not matter in a week or so? Now what
do you think Now?
Because I say right now that im going to TRY to change. Try is the key word. Im
not going to be perfect. Im going to be far from it. And im not going to start
jumping up for Jesus. But know that I am going to get there. And it all starts
by saying to God and to the World that you want to Change. You want to Try. You
want to stand up for God. And so I say this because I want you to be my accountability.
Now I know that you know what I want to change. You know my standards and you
know how I see things. So I will always know that you might be watching. You’re
my accountability.
The Change is Never Simple.
But it is AMAZING.
Lucas Simonitch
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